Monday, May 13, 2013

Happy Mother's Day!

This Mother's Day I felt different, for more than the obvious reasons, I felt a little more pensive about the Mother's that were not quite mothers, those that have had trouble with fertility, or have had trouble carrying to term.  The Mothers that on Mother's day some times feel forgotten or are reminded of those little ones that never made it into their families.

I came into motherhood, by most standards, late in the game.  I was in my mid 30's about when I became a mother.  Eva changed my life, my mindset and my desires.  I truly believe she led the way for her siblings to come into our family, for me to love them in the manner in which I do.  However, I do also feel that I got to mother long before these children of mine came along.

I was an aunt for 24 years before I was ever a mother, my nephews and nieces were a preclude to the love I feel for my own children.  I have seen my nephews and nieces in there successes and unfortunately in their failures.  I have rejoiced with them and cried for them.  Some of these feelings surprised and scared me, I thought, "if I feel this way, how do their mother's feel!"

Motherhood is love, its sacrifice, I believe young teachers even feel these things before they have children of their own.

I'm grateful for the opportunity to serve in this calling of Mother.  I never knew if I would get to be a mother, frankly I never really planned on it, but it came at the perfect time for me.  I would do anything for my children, but I do take my job seriously enough not to endanger their growth by playing a blind eye either.  Saying this is a tough job, is an understatement!

Our newest member of the family hit a milestone again, Baby Mia is 6 months old!  Time certainly is not kind and it waits for no one!  It seems like just yesterday we found out we were pregnant and here Baby Mia is 6 months away from being 1year old!!!!

Enjoy these little pictures of her last 6 months!!



Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Triggers

Its funny how a smell, a picture, a comment can be a strong trigger for an emotion or a memory.  Some times its good to have those triggers, I love Norteño music, it takes me back to the memories (good ones) of my childhood, of our family parties, of my father's love of his native land, of my mother and sister's cooking.


My parents often watched Spanish language movies, Pedro Infante, Vicente Fernandez, La India Maria...whenever I see one playing on Spanish TV on a Saturday night it takes me back.

The smell of the ocean reminds me of my summers in Southern California as a child with my big sister and her husband.

As we experience life and it's trials, there are triggers that will no doubt exist to bring us back to these moments.  The moments that filled us with pain and darkness.  Oh how those triggers set me back...

I guess I'll have to keep working on the good, the happy memories and triggers.




Lyrics to Eva's Lullaby
by Jose M Pena (Papa)
written Dec 2008

Eva, my angel, oh dear sweet kind child
Hear me, my dear child, I want you to smile.

Little one, precious one
This song's for you
Eva my angel,
please know I love you.

One day, long ago,
your mom and I met.
We loved each other
and so we were wed.

Little one, precious one,
we prayed for you,
Eva our angel,
now know we love you.

Time has now shown us
that life can be sweet.
Even when we face
some days tough to beat.

Little one, precious one,
you make us smile
thank you our angel
we know life's worthwhile.

Little one, precious one
This song's for you
Eva my angel,
please know I love you.