So Proud of you Big Girl!!

Emotions have been running kind of high in my household as of late.  This last few weeks we have given our condolences to some families that have lost their HPE babies.  It is heartbreaking to know of how little time they got to have with their angel babies!  And on the other end of the spectrum emotions have been high as we continue to prepare Eva for school.  It is this thought of school and friends and everyday preschool kid stuff that just fills my heart with gratitude to have Eva!  As a stay home mom, I feel like I keep my babies away, all to myself, I am their best friend, their playmate and then the time comes to set them free to make their friends and spend time with other people.  I'm ready and I'm not, I'm ready for her to make friends, oh how that thought warms my heart, to think of her "inviting" friends for parties and play dates!  I'm not ready to just drop her off and trust someone with her.  I admit I am very protective of Eva, I take other's comments in stride about NEEDING to leave her for me time and how we just NEED as mothers to have time away from our kids.  Although it is not too far fetched and I understand why its important to some (and even me) but I guess, as I have posted before, I did a lot of that when I was single.  I worked a lot, I did a lot of charity work, I had a lot of good times.  This is what I asked for and not in a bad way, I never fully knew how much I desired motherhood until I had these kids.  I'm indulging in this time in my life, I stay home, I love it, I loved work too when I had to do that and I enjoyed me me me me me when I could do that.  But now, I'm grateful and thankful to my husband who shares my views and values me staying home.  Someday my time for all my indulgences will come again, when I'm ready.  I have a very blessed life, it is quite different than my life before, I have little material things but many more riches!

We are bad picture takers....or posters...bloggers?!

After reading blogs and seeing the new Facebook timeline, I realized for the first time...we don't have any honeymoon pictures!

*******WARNING: If you don't want to hear complaining and if you only like fluffy, "My Life is Perfect" posts, stop reading now and go back to posting on your "My Life is Perfect" blog********

Ok, so I continue, cause after all this is my blog, my thoughts and if you don't like it, please refrain from posting comments, visiting my blog or really lets just stay acquaintances, I like my friends real and after all real people with real lives don't have ANYTHING perfect!!

I digress, so I really need to work on the memory making.  I've noticed their are two kinds of bloggers, the kind that are so creative and artistic and you just literally learn from their blogs.  They are positive but not fake, they have bad days and proudly display them, they apologies for gloomy posts but make no apologies about who they are and then there are the everything is beautiful and perfect in my life and whatever isn't I simply will never post it or I cut it out of my life! I admit I read both, the latter sometimes out of sheer obligation but the whole time is like major eye role!!!

So I will focus on the first blogger, I recently found a few, I love love love their pictures and this is what reminded me that I have no pictures of my honeymoon! We'll we kind of had a last minute honeymoon and the pictures we did have were on our phones (that we no longer own).  What I also love about these other bloggers is that they are of all different...let's say sizes, colors, heights etc...but they look amazing in every picture they take and are in! I really think the camera sees right through you, like where you are in life and how you feel about yourself...it doesn't lie or fake!  Or the photographer is amazing and it can help the camera do its job!

I will admit, that I have been aware of my not taking/posting pictures problem for awhile and I do have a ton of pictures since I've had kids (well a ton for me...anyway) but I haven't put them up.  I'm also kind of careful about what I want out there in the internet.  I have law enforcement in my family and I think that has something to do with it, I just don't want some pedophile searching on the internet for pictures and uses my kids!  I just do not like it when little kids are posed topless with only jewelry on or babies with only a tutu on, I know I might sound paranoid but if you heard the true stories I did you would take those off your internet accounts ASAP too!!  The other thing I figure, those closest to me will come to my home and see my pictures and look at my albums and be able to see the chronology of our lives!  I like that idea!

Facebook is nice and so is blogging but sometimes its like celebrity, don't put stuff out there that you don't want criticized or reposted somewhere else.  I am very conscious by the way of what I blog about too, Oprah once said, (and this was early 90's Oprah) "Don't put anything out there that you don't want in the front page of the New York Times" and that should help you be careful about what you write!  It doesn't mean you have to write fluff and perfect stuff only either!  What I like most about the real blogs is that they make me feel all is possible, a beautiful family, righteous living and all of this even with bad stuff along the way.

So I say, I am a recovering bad picture taker...and thank you to all you good bloggers and picture takers for your continued inspiration!